i've realised that i've been talking to myself more and more.
in my head and my heart.

days are passing fast.
there're things that i've gotta get them done and submit in days to come.

&the strange things is;
i dont feel the urgency at all..
so dead.
a part of me have always been saying
"peixin, you're so dead.
this is the last year.
and you're not bucking up for the last freaking bit.
what the hell is wrong with you."

yes, what the hell is wrong with me.
i looked so tired and haggard everyday.
everyone is asking if im ok.
asking if im fine, when they saw/walked past me.
& i'll do the same thing everytime.

smile, and reply, im fine (:
i guess i smiled wearily, that's why everyone wasnt really convinced.
and asked, "you sure?"
but at least i tried to smile. thanks for the concern, im thankful at least you guys cared.
really, i know who cared.

it's just that my body's failing me recently.

& i need a full body check up.
i really want one.
& need a close companion to go with me.
& no, im not playing with my words, im serious about this.
money is the problem for the delay of check up.

i guess songs&music will be my one&only therapy, for now.
relax and calm down, peixin ..
you know you really need to.

*and freak those who think that this is an emo post again. ):
you can choose not to read.