pourwater.onsugar.com

(:

& there're still people visiting this place.
hello there.

clue in faysbuke

& once again, im outta here.
find me if you can.

you know, it hurts.
but then again, i learn.

thanks for those who remembered.
thanks for those who wished.
thanks for those who got reminded and at least bothered to wish.
thanks for those who gave me pleasant surprises.
thanks for those who send me msgs at 12am.
thanks for those who gave me presents.
thanks for those who treated me.
thanks for those who's virtually there for me.

and last but not least,
thanks for those who ignored.
thanks for those who forgot.
thanks for those who didnt bother.

and wasnt really surprised to some.
"come when they need.
go when they dont."
dont even think about what these two lines are all about.
it's all just a note-to-self thingy.
but those who know what they mean, are probably the guilty ones. (:

but i've got to say.
i've learnt alot from this year's birthday.
and also, realised lots of things. impt ones.
thank you antoinette for sharing.
it was really a nice chat.

now..
i guess i've got some impt plans for my future. (:

sometimes, it's also quite amazing how your closest friend can do something you thought she'll nvr do.
& i guess i know nobody whom i can trust anymore.

& i've finally know how gullible i am. [after 18 freaking years]
how easily i can believe someone.
but i thought i can judge.
but now i know i cant..
right..?
no wonder people around me,
kept warning me to be very careful and not to trust people so easily anymore,
even if he/she is your bestest friend.

that's why i kept most of the things to myself nowadays.
im sorry.
i guess i've only got one word to say.
disappointed.

but then again,
when i get in contact with these people that once betrayed me,
i'll tend to tell them everything again.
i hate myself for being so outta control. ):

& i know some people are out there laughing at how pathetic i am, right now.
but im fine.

hello karma police.

sometimes chilling alone can be quite meditating. (:
hello caffe mocha.

almost wanted to start blogging.
but now, my mood's flown to somewhere faraway.
should postpone my updates.
shall apologise to the regular readers if there's any.

anyway,
i need to thank those who are there.
you know who you guys are.
and i appreciated you so so so much.

peace out.
i need to go somewhere far.
at least.. from my house.

1. thankyou all for the wonderful cake, angbao and sakura treat.
2. had fun with the rabbids.
3. 10000 calories
4. ion orchard is cool.
5. orchardcentral is seriously awesome and super amazing. 11levels.
6. stunned by its super longgggggggggggggg escalator.
7. internship starting on mon. 3months hideout.
8. 9.15 report at hollandv. 6.30 leave hollandv.
9. i think i will love hollandv, and chill out alone there. their starbucks is quite shiok.
10. what else.. not sure, logging out and going to sleep now.

goodbye and goodnight world.
booked, see you guys tmr.

*more photos soon, hopefully.

a bunch of monkeys/hooligans is sitting right infront of me.
ewwww.
SHHHHHHHH.

fries why you get cold so fast.
hot tea, dont you be cold.
i need you to last me till my laptop dies in mac.

this sucks seriously. :C

tears welled up.
nothing's going right.
nothing at all.

80percent of everything that happened today,
was going so wrong.

instant dizziness.
peixin, you're so going to die.
just forget about it.

and im seriously annoyed till i feel like crying right now..
someone help.

*notes to self;

wake up at 6 tmr.
be back at 8am to watch eclipse on tv.

eclipse tmr. (:

it's 11:11pm.

helloyou.dontstareatme.

thanks isabella. (:

angel.
you know i love you.
hugs.

ups and downs

i've realised that i've been talking to myself more and more.
in my head and my heart.

days are passing fast.
there're things that i've gotta get them done and submit in days to come.

&the strange things is;
i dont feel the urgency at all..
so dead.
a part of me have always been saying
"peixin, you're so dead.
this is the last year.
and you're not bucking up for the last freaking bit.
what the hell is wrong with you."

yes, what the hell is wrong with me.
i looked so tired and haggard everyday.
everyone is asking if im ok.
asking if im fine, when they saw/walked past me.
& i'll do the same thing everytime.

smile, and reply, im fine (:
i guess i smiled wearily, that's why everyone wasnt really convinced.
and asked, "you sure?"
but at least i tried to smile. thanks for the concern, im thankful at least you guys cared.
really, i know who cared.

it's just that my body's failing me recently.

& i need a full body check up.
i really want one.
& need a close companion to go with me.
& no, im not playing with my words, im serious about this.
money is the problem for the delay of check up.

i guess songs&music will be my one&only therapy, for now.
relax and calm down, peixin ..
you know you really need to.

*and freak those who think that this is an emo post again. ):
you can choose not to read.

*on a side note;


hello red hair;
i have perfect eyesight.

ok. i dont know whats up with me ..
im really sad ..
really sad ..
really tired ..

& im really addicted to this song.
sing to me please.
monsoon has been accompanying me for days when im travelling.(:

tomkaulitz's quite cool. (:

keith just added me on facebook :D

*notes to self;
dont procrastinate.
dont binge.
dont doze off while msging anymore! sorry.. :C

& im really sorry for my actions last night
started in the lift
then followed by a long pause at my stairs
couldnt believe i was so selfish
& im really sorry for that
please forgive me and forget what happened
guess i was really tired..

BY THE WAY, I FREAKING HATE THOSE FREAKING RULES ABOUT EAT/DRINK IN THE MRT.
OK, IT'S FINE TO CATCH FINE THOSE PEOPLE WHO EAT FRIES/JUNK FOOD WHATEVER ON THE TRAIN. BUT WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE WHO DRINK PLAIN WATER/HAVING A SWEET IN THEIR MOUTH.
WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN. WHAT FREAKING RULE IS THAT. WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO'S HAVING COUGH/SORE THROAT AND NEED SOME WATER/SWEETS TO EASE THEIR THROAT. FREAK THIS FREAKING MRT LAW MAN. SERIOUSLY. THIS MAKES ME HATE SINGAPORE. ):

and oh, did i mention that i'm always using freak word as the Fword. (:

what's wrong with you, peixin. ):

goodbyehellodarkbrownhair
probablyi'llregret
shallseehow

on repeat

running through the monsoon
beyond the world
till the end of time
where the rain wont hurt
fighting the storm
into the blue

and when i lose myself
i think of you

dear jap notes,
please get into my head.
at least till the end of the test tmr.
promise?

*have been dam tired nowadays.
i've also been dozing off on others' shoulders.
either that or almost miss my stop. ew.

notes to self :
*be independent.
*be patient.
*be calm.

peace out.

**hair please grow faster.
i want angmoh hair.
i want to braid them.
i want long natural curls.
i want burgundy hair.
have been a frequent reader of hairspiration recently.

diet starts tomorrow ok.
shhhh, dont come and disturb me.
shoo, you food.

amazing. 1hour sleep last night.
what about tonight. :C


i want to sleep.
a deep long sleep.

heading over to mac to study jap.
i hope it all goes into my head.
and stay in there till the test's over!

AHHHHHHH. ))):
time's just so so so not enough for me.

well, i dont know why i cant post any comments at all,
the box just refused to appear. :/

anyway.
i have a strong urge to dye my hair.
reddish orange/ orangish red.
was browsing hairspiration for hours.(:
hair, grow faster lehhhh.

and shit, i havent started studying for my jap.

anyone care to go with me?
blackout(:

*changed my foan naaaambur.

because im always having this struggle in my head that none of you know.
& it's been there for quite long.
ever since the very first day of 2009.

you'll never know.
i need a free doc, free consultant and a carefree mind.

notmyself. idontfeelitanymore.

hellohello. moshimoshi.
nihonmura with the girls. (:





*notes to self.
- Jap test on Monday
- Reflection all done before Monday
- Think of whatta do with my logbook, how Keith! :C
- im not sure. APEL tmr.
- GET MORE REST. feeling dam tired every single day :C

was late again today..):
but i couldnt thank you enough for your wakeup msgs and calls.
(:

**i know right.
sometimes, it's just so hard for me to even accept myself. ew.

thank so much for your dress eh yoko. :D

sian, totally not looking forward to tmr's presentation,
though it's just between 3 to 4mins.
baaaaaaaaah.

running away.
anyone? (:

iwanttogoonadietdietdietdietdiet
shutmymouthupforme whenyouseemeeat.
thankyouverymuch.

first of all, i want to thank qinyi for your jackettttt.
it really kept me warm throughout the whole SIP talk just now.
thankyou so much, appreciatedddd :D

on a side note;
i want to stop my dam freaking habit.
food now are like my batt of the day. :C
need to seriously stop gorging food through my throat.
ARGHHHHHHH..

ok im going down to get some yanyan to munch on.

ok. im going to laosai now.
thought it was only me when i thought there was abit of soap taste in my food just now.
so. it was true. :/
brb.

struggled

because this invisible drug is killing me slowly.
it slowly corrodes my brain and disrupt my actions.
maybe that was why.
no one could be able to understand.

people label you as emo this emo that.
when all you said was just what you're stressed over.
and when you stop sharing,
they'll either ask you to share, or just label you as emo, again.

& this freaking cycle is going on and on.
who are you.

**note[s] to self;

- NOT TO BE LATE TMR, WAKE UP EARLY

- FRUITS SPAMMING MONTH?

she's still so young.

keith's class in mins' time.
woots. but im currently rotting away eh.

of course i know.
there's a big problem with me. :C
i'll try my best.. alright?

*on a side note,
an angmoh came up to me and told me he likes my blue nails. hahahah.

days with
dry/crack lips
blue nails

fingers crossed.

ohmy

i cant believe i dreamt of her.
still so pretty.

hahahahhha. omggggg.
KEITH'S CLASS TODAY! :D

LOL. i know it's dam stupid but i seriously didnt know that he knew who is peixin!
i was early for class today. woots. it's like years since the last time i was early for classes.
and he came in to prepare his stuffs, AND WALKED TOWARDS TO ME!
HAHAHAHHAHA. and he asked,
"So peixin, blah blah blahh.." and asked me about my internship.
WOOOOTS. ok la. i tried to look normal on the outside, but hopefully my face didnt turn red.
omg. it's the first time i go so gagahhh over a lecturer.
hey it's my first time in his class after two years okkkkk.
so i guess it's normal to be. ahem..excited. LOL.. heh.

omg, seriously, i didnt know he knew that i was peixin. cause we've nvr talked face to face before,
and neither was i in his class before! this part is rather weird though.
but i dont mind.
im just happy that HE KNEW IM PEIXIN. AHAHHAHHAHA. ok.
done for this post!

TMR TMR TMR. LOL.
goodnight. :D

his girlfriend.

you should.

All Good Things Come To An End

and i regretted not taking a photo of the present&card before i gave it to you.
i did remind myself to, cause i know i regretted last year for not taking any photos of the presents i gave you.
but ended up, i still forgot to..

well.. here i wish you a happy birthday (:


& i swear,
a hell lotsa things went through my mind last night while watching you.

& i thought,
i'm that kinda girl, who cherish too much when the timing's not right,
and when the timing's right, i was far too hurt/disappointed to treasure anything anymore..

that's why, i've lost some of my friends.
i need someone to help and advise me on this.
and yet, sometimes, i just cant be too bothered to care,
cause i always give in to myself too childishly and stubbornly, to believe in..

"what's meant to be will always find its way"
and i guess, im wrong all the while.
this phrase is so wrong.
but then again,
my life has not ended yet, nothing has come to a REAL end yet.
so.. there's nothing i can prove about this phrase.

but there's a similar line, i've strongly believed all the while,
"If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.
Nothing will change even if you've tried everything."

& i wont forget what someone had once told me before when i wrote "all good things come to an end",
that person said, "because ALL things will eventually end, even the bad ones."

and i thought it was so true, somehow.

im still sensitive :C

and my mum warned me that
i'm eating a lot these few weeks.

that's sad.
i shall go on a strict diet, water spamming, and hopefully,
i'll gain back ALL the motivation and determination that i had.. last year.

peixin, yao rennnnnnnnn. :C

hi world.
so cooling now, thank you rain.
im so freaking bored.
mum brought sis for rebonding.
awaiting for her new hairstyle.
kickboxing later.
shh.

*thankyou daddy mummy so much for my early birthdaypresent.
love it so so so much. i promise i'll learn to save money now.
muah.

and this was what my sis did.

she typed,
tommorow. then
tomorrow. then
tommorrow. then finally she decides to type,
tomorrow.

l-o-l

ahahaha, dont know why.
i've got a sudden urge to go to botanic gardens.
i want to see the big big tree.
can have picnic there too.
anyone? (:

monday blues?

SAMSUNG JET, wait for me.
PLEASE. (:

ahhhhhhhh. ate so much.
water spamming day.

no matter how i tried to look around.
it was 98percent of black and 2percent of fading colours,
the sounds from the surroundings was totally fading at a fast rate.
chest's burning.
words spamming.
i kept moving, trying to keep my body working.
cause i'm afraid it would totally shut down before i could realise.

but im glad that two of my best friends were just right beside me.
and i cant thank them enough.

*i know i kept repeating this.
but i guess that was the darkest moment that i've panicked in my entire life.

bring me there some time again. heh.(:

and on a side note,

ahahah, fun session i've had the other time :D

swimming.

kickboxing.

clubbed. [1st]
&iwontbeabletoforgetabouttheblackout.

however.. 17-18th was definitely great great great. (:

how was yours spent.

HA HA. simple.
because i dont go along well with childish or petty people.

*im just not to THAT extent. hah.

it's been so long since i've cried cause of disappointment and anger.
been so long..

sundae peekture post

went for my cousin's wedding dinner.
this cute little cousin of mine. :D




sisterrrrrr.

happy holidays to me, hopefully.

aww (:

*marie digby is awesome (:
dont you feel, feel, feel, feel ..

munchie munch munch munch (:

hello my dear end-of-block. (:






& i've gotta say this is the best group work i've ever encountered in my life.
cheers to angel and shuyi! (:
*handshakes + munch munch*

last but not least,

love you angel~ :D

because

i only believe in those who knows me well.

they are the ones, and will be the only ones,
who will know what im trying to say, even if i phrased my words wrongly.
cheers to them(:

ewww.
it's so dirty there in your house.
i dont want it already.
even my mum's pissed off with you.
aw.

eww. both of them are creatures.
BIG SCARY CREATURES. EWWW.
saw one of them today.

tired tired tired
to the max

ok, i dont know why.
my emotions and thoughts are all blended and mixed up.

and i swear it's not a good mixture. at all.

or maybe it's due to sleeping at 5 last night and waking up at 6plus 7am in the morning.
just to warn people out there.

if you have only less than two hours of sleep,
dont try to walk in a fast pace.
dont try to turn your head too fast or continuously in different directions.
dont try to stay out for too long.
dont try to jump.
dont even try to run.

i swear i almost fainted outside today.
looking after my sister who doesnt want to go home.
dead beat.

& im feeling dam cranky now. trust me.

she was wearing this tube dress today.
made her looked pregnant.
her brother just left the mrt and left the reserved seat for her to rest.
she's tired so she sat down on it.
buay tahan.

and guess what.
her sis kept calling her mummy.
& this made most of the people turned and looked at her.
shit. what a day.

omggggggggggggggggg.
KEITHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH . (:

pao pao cha

i wonder if bubble tea exists in other countries.

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! :D
LOVE YOU (:


On a side note, i cant think of anything for adcam.
well, maybe just some random ones.
but now, my BRAIN'S STUCKKKKKKK.

fiftyfifty street magazine: Invisible


I love the concept and i thought it was dam cool (:

please.

i seriously need understanding.
understanding from everyone.
im stuck, really stuck right now.

stab me.

jen, when are you free for that session at your house.
i guess i need that session desperately.
desperately..

this is what i saw when i look down from where i'm sitting.
he seriously needs to notice what's around him before he sleeps.

imagine if i didnt know that he was there, omg.

**meanwhile, i hope that he's having a sweet dream right now. (:

i swear something was seriously wrong today.
i was feeling giddy for 80% of the time.
and it was to the point that i was about to blackout any time.
& i've got to admit, it's quite scary.

quite some time.

decided to modify it.
due to some reasons which slipped off my mind ytd.

& i hope it didnt happen.
it mustnt happen.

a typical shock.

sneezing might be the cause of this scene.
and usually, the person who sneezed would be you, yourself.
so you'd spill whatever's on your spoon, on the table.

but no. not for me.
i didnt sneeze.

but the person beside me did.


** On a side note, my sis was with me too. & she wasnt shock by the sneeze AT ALL.
what the hell is wrong with me man. i swear the stupid sneeze was dam loud ok.

indescribable, feel it?

Although I've not seen some for a long time, I still remember and miss.
Although I've been seeing some quite often, I still miss.

MY EYE HURTS!
ok, im sure you know which one. :C

oh.my.g

ahhhhh.

just received an email from ..


KEITH TAN! ((((((((((:

omg, im dam sleepy and tired right now.
need to rest soon and wake up early tmr.

and thanks mum, for saying those impactful words to me.
though i was quite shock, but i've been expecting someone to say it to me.
& i didnt think it would be coming from you.

so i guess i shall now be motivated by those words and..
prove it to you.

and make sure you dont forget/regret what you've said.

and it was that bad that..
whenever i do something, i have to do it at a slower pace.
for example, simple actions like turning my head.

cause when i turn my head too fast, even just to the side.
it's like a swirl of giddiness in my head.
seriously. and i guess i almost blackout.
i have to close my eyes and calm myself down,
let everything in my head go back to their right positions,
slowly open my eyes, and continue what i'm doing.

eww.
help?

& finally

a 10 hours sleep last night.


after 5 or 6 nights of 1hour sleep.
how amazing.

sucks.

assignment eat assignment eat walk around the house eat blog
assignment doze off dream of work wake up
rush to school assignment toilet assignment doze off on mrt
assignment eat blog eat walk around the house eat assignment
doze off assignment eat eat doze off school assignment home
submission submission submission.

after all these. will be a start of a new cycle of the same thing.
jenmey, forever never ending seems to be really negative to me.
for now.

addicted.

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that ya feel the same