fries why you get cold so fast.
hot tea, dont you be cold.
i need you to last me till my laptop dies in mac.

this sucks seriously. :C

because im always having this struggle in my head that none of you know.
& it's been there for quite long.
ever since the very first day of 2009.

you'll never know.
i need a free doc, free consultant and a carefree mind.

notmyself. idontfeelitanymore.

hellohello. moshimoshi.
nihonmura with the girls. (:





*notes to self.
- Jap test on Monday
- Reflection all done before Monday
- Think of whatta do with my logbook, how Keith! :C
- im not sure. APEL tmr.
- GET MORE REST. feeling dam tired every single day :C

was late again today..):
but i couldnt thank you enough for your wakeup msgs and calls.
(:

**i know right.
sometimes, it's just so hard for me to even accept myself. ew.

first of all, i want to thank qinyi for your jackettttt.
it really kept me warm throughout the whole SIP talk just now.
thankyou so much, appreciatedddd :D

on a side note;
i want to stop my dam freaking habit.
food now are like my batt of the day. :C
need to seriously stop gorging food through my throat.
ARGHHHHHHH..

of course i know.
there's a big problem with me. :C
i'll try my best.. alright?

*on a side note,
an angmoh came up to me and told me he likes my blue nails. hahahah.

All Good Things Come To An End

and i regretted not taking a photo of the present&card before i gave it to you.
i did remind myself to, cause i know i regretted last year for not taking any photos of the presents i gave you.
but ended up, i still forgot to..

well.. here i wish you a happy birthday (:


& i swear,
a hell lotsa things went through my mind last night while watching you.

& i thought,
i'm that kinda girl, who cherish too much when the timing's not right,
and when the timing's right, i was far too hurt/disappointed to treasure anything anymore..

that's why, i've lost some of my friends.
i need someone to help and advise me on this.
and yet, sometimes, i just cant be too bothered to care,
cause i always give in to myself too childishly and stubbornly, to believe in..

"what's meant to be will always find its way"
and i guess, im wrong all the while.
this phrase is so wrong.
but then again,
my life has not ended yet, nothing has come to a REAL end yet.
so.. there's nothing i can prove about this phrase.

but there's a similar line, i've strongly believed all the while,
"If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.
Nothing will change even if you've tried everything."

& i wont forget what someone had once told me before when i wrote "all good things come to an end",
that person said, "because ALL things will eventually end, even the bad ones."

and i thought it was so true, somehow.

im still sensitive :C

and my mum warned me that
i'm eating a lot these few weeks.

that's sad.
i shall go on a strict diet, water spamming, and hopefully,
i'll gain back ALL the motivation and determination that i had.. last year.

peixin, yao rennnnnnnnn. :C

ahhhhhhhh. ate so much.
water spamming day.

it's been so long since i've cried cause of disappointment and anger.
been so long..

ok, i dont know why.
my emotions and thoughts are all blended and mixed up.

and i swear it's not a good mixture. at all.

or maybe it's due to sleeping at 5 last night and waking up at 6plus 7am in the morning.
just to warn people out there.

if you have only less than two hours of sleep,
dont try to walk in a fast pace.
dont try to turn your head too fast or continuously in different directions.
dont try to stay out for too long.
dont try to jump.
dont even try to run.

i swear i almost fainted outside today.
looking after my sister who doesnt want to go home.
dead beat.

& im feeling dam cranky now. trust me.

please.

i seriously need understanding.
understanding from everyone.
im stuck, really stuck right now.

stab me.

jen, when are you free for that session at your house.
i guess i need that session desperately.
desperately..

i swear something was seriously wrong today.
i was feeling giddy for 80% of the time.
and it was to the point that i was about to blackout any time.
& i've got to admit, it's quite scary.

quite some time.

decided to modify it.
due to some reasons which slipped off my mind ytd.

& i hope it didnt happen.
it mustnt happen.

MY EYE HURTS!
ok, im sure you know which one. :C

and it was that bad that..
whenever i do something, i have to do it at a slower pace.
for example, simple actions like turning my head.

cause when i turn my head too fast, even just to the side.
it's like a swirl of giddiness in my head.
seriously. and i guess i almost blackout.
i have to close my eyes and calm myself down,
let everything in my head go back to their right positions,
slowly open my eyes, and continue what i'm doing.

eww.
help?

eww. what is this.

this morning, i couldnt even grab a seat at the PIONEER STATION.
what the hell. i saw an empty seat, and when i was just about to walk over, A MAN JUST RAN TOWARDS IT AND SAT DOWN.
please. i dislike guys who're not gentleman.
eww.

seriously, like once the MRT door was opened,
everyone would just behaved like they're playing the Musical Chairs.
eww.

it got really crowded stations after stations.
and when i turned to my side, i saw this. [the photo above]
that uncle just placed his butt on the pole.
eww.

sometimes, i seriously have no idea, what am i thinking.
why am i behaving like that. hah.
even i've got no idea myself. so, i guess, there's no use trying to figure it out for me.

or maybe, im just selective. eww.

p.s. that freaking timetable is irritating. it changed again. & now, i've got a 3 freaking hours break at the last block.